Because the strategy behind taking a leap of faith is unknown.
Today I had what most would call a challenging day. I call these days “opportunity days” because every challenge I come across is an opportunity to become more resilient. Sometimes it’s hard to think of it that way because there are so many challenges being thrown at you in every direction. It feels like no matter what you do, you just keep getting knocked on your ass over and over again. Of course, I like to practice what I preach by taking action towards getting into the habit of feeling good and dealing with the other shit later, but wow, sometimes it really is hard. However, it can be done and it should.
After all the challenges I had to face today, I came to realize that I need to take more action in my life. I spent the last few months of 2017 purging just about everything in my life. I started saying no to people, setting boundaries again and rebuilding my self worth. I thought all the hard stuff was over and done with but nope, there’s still more. And that’s ok.
I believe that we live in a friendly universe. As humans, we are given the opportunity to live at our full potential. However, it’s not meant to be easy. We need to earn it, therefore, we need to put in work. It doesn’t mean that putting in work needs to be dreadful, it just means that we can’t be lazy if we want to succeed.
Sometimes in order to succeed, we need to take leaps of faith. I’ve taken some small ones in the past and they worked rather well. But there have been times I didn’t take any at all when I needed to because I was scared, comfortable and lazy. I pretty much settled for mediocrity, which is less than anyone deserves and because my values became so shitty, I ended up dealing with the dark night of the soul. I stayed in a relationship that was awesome but toxic at the same time, I kept friends around that I wasn’t vibing with, and I kept working a job that paid well but made me feel like shit all the time because I was too attached to leave, too comfortable with who I knew and too lazy to look for a career that was a better match for me.
It just got to the point where my life just started falling apart on it’s own. To me, living a mediocre and unfulfilling life is unacceptable. I knew I needed to shift my life around and make shit happen because I’m generally an optimistic person. So I ended the wonderful but unsettling relationship, stopped talking to the friends and quit my job. It wasn’t easy. I was alone, dealt with withdrawals and cried a lot. But I knew that even though I had no idea what life was going to be like without those things, I was going to be ok. And so I am, but now after all I’ve dealt with recently, I know there’s still another leap I must take, and it’s a biggie.
Taking a leap of faith is scary because we don’t know the strategy behind it. There’s no definite answer or even clues to where our future is headed, we just have to trust the process. Right now, I know there’s more to my life than what I’m currently dealing with. I know there’s more people to meet, more blogs to write, more places to travel to, and just more shit to experience. Yet, even though I’ve allowed myself to purge the relationship, the friendships and the job that no longer serves me, I still find myself in my apartment a lot not exploring the world and blogging about all sorts of random things in random countries like my heart truly desires. So, if I really want to live a life I deserve, I need to sell some shit and get movin’, like my favorite tarot card, the Fool!