My life appears to be crashing down all around me, but I’ve learned to stand my ground.
I have a shit ton of bills due starting tomorrow and rent due in 4 days. No boo-hooing here though. SoCal living is expensive. $1280 a month for a one bedroom apartment not including utilities. Ridiculous right? But SoCal is my home and I chose to live here. My bank account is close to negative but I refuse to touch any of my stock investments because I feel it’s unnecessary, unless I’m actually starving. But honestly, I just need to work harder.
Most people, including myself at one point, would think, wow that sucks. Nope, it doesn’t.
This is an obstacle, a major one, and I had an inkling that this would happen. I could lose my apartment and go bankrupt. I don’t care about those things though. All I care about is how I’m going to eat. I own a Jeep Wrangler and I’ve lived in it before so where I sleep is not an issue and I don’t mind doing it again. It’s like camping and I have tons of cozy blankets.
I don’t have steady income because I quit my last occupation of almost 5 years as a parachute rigger. I made good money as both an independent contractor and employee but my self worth is more important and I finally said no to it. I refuse to allow myself to work another job that belittles my self worth. I worked shitty jobs for over 10 years and I’m done. I’m moving on to better options and I know it’s not going to be easy. I’ll most likely deal with more obstacles along the way but that’s ok. It’s only more fuel added towards my passion and I’m ready to earn it.
My passion is to pursue a life full of traveling, writing and meeting new people, so fuck, if I have to sell all the materialistic shit in my apartment, eat ramen noodles and live in my Jeep for a while, then so be it.
Perspective is key.
I can allow this obstacle to make me feel weak and powerless or I can allow it to be the fuel I need to get me aligned with my passion. The option is mine.
When you have a desire to do something, and you really feel it in your heart that it’s what you want to do without really understanding why but just knowing, DO IT! Don’t allow obstacles to get in your way or make you back down. Push through. Obstacles are the Universe’s way of testing you to see if what you want is REALLY what you want and if you’re really willing to work for it.
When you back down, it just means you don’t want it bad enough. But when you persevere by breaking through them, it makes you feel meritorious because you earned it. So let obstacles be the fuel in your life.
“Give me fuel
Give me fire
Give me that which I desire!”
– “Fuel” by Metallica
On a side note: I did my tarot reading for today and my main energy for the day is the Two of Swords. On point, don’t you think? I’ll have to make a post about how I do my own tarot readings for anyone that’s interested.