I generally care about the well being of people and want to inspire them to live a great life but sometimes things need to be said in its most original form without wearing a mask and beating behind the bush.
There are things that can come off as harsh but I feel that the people who are willing to keep an open mind and understand what needs to be heard, despite of the severity of it, will benefit greatly. And to you, I tip my hat.
If something needs to be said to me, I want to hear the cold hard truth. If it’s said to me in attempt to hurt my feelings, I would consider that to be correlated with people who lie to me so they don’t “hurt” my feelings. They are inauthentic and being inauthentic doesn’t fly with me. They are cowardly approaches and I don’t relate well with cowards.
So why do I feel Stoicism is needed in modern society? To be honest, I feel most people don’t like to hear the truth because the truth can hurt. And instead of accepting it, they get offended, feel victimized and become sue-happy.
As I was driving to Barnes and Noble to preview some randoms books, I started thinking about how impatient people have become based on the crazy drivers passing me by. I’m going a little over the speed limit and I’m in the far right lane. Why are they even tailgating me and why are they in such a hurry?
This sparked up a thought about anxiety and what I’ve observed about it.
I feel most people are so used to getting what they want, when they want, that if they don’t get it, they freak out about it. Oh, didn’t get any likes on social media, didn’t get that compliment you wanted or get a text back in time from someone special? Time to freak out about it, think people dislike you and have an anxiety attack about it. No, that’s your mind conjuring up useless complexity. Stop it. You cannot control what happens to you but you can control how to respond to it. You’ll be fine.
I realized I fell into this crap for months. I tried to control too much and when things didn’t work out the way I wanted, when I wanted, I allowed myself to feel bad. Didn’t get the texts I wanted, when I wanted? Yep, it annoyed me. I gave too many fucks and worried. As I’ve mentioned before in a previous post, worrying is a waste of energy and brings in more of what you are worried about. What you resist, persists.
As of right now, my bank account is overdrawn by about $500, and I get charged $35 every time a transaction occurs, I get phone calls from creditors, emails about my future due dates, I just downsized my possessions, moved out of my apartment, had to give up my cat and very unsure of my future. But you know what? That’s fine. The important thing is that I have a couch to sleep on at my sister’s, food to eat, some money in my pocket until I figure out what to do and a passion to focus on. I wanted to change my life and I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.
With all the crap that’s going on in my life, I could be devastated and think my life is over, or understand that these really sucky things need to happen when leaving the old life behind. In order to proceed towards your new life, your old one has to completely crumble and you have to be detached from your past. So if my life keeps crumbling, well alrighty then. Come at me, bro!
I feel that nowadays it’s very difficult for most people to understand this concept. They want miracles to happen during some kind of change in order to avoid feeling uncomfortable. Doesn’t work that way. Sorry. The only way is to allow things to happen, see it for what it is and understand that the way things are happening are for your highest good. It may not seem like it, but it is, as long as you let your heart lead the way.
Everything is always done for our highest good, but our ego takes a different perspective and tries to protect, which is nonsense. The more you allow your ego to control you, the harder it will be to adapt to change. The worse things get, the stronger you become and the stronger you become, the brighter your future is. What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger right?
What were to happen if social media got banned or the internet was shut down for a month or longer? What if we all had to revert back to good old snail mail instead of emails? How would you react? Would you truly be ok or feel victimized? Think about that for a second. Is getting mad or having anxiety about it going to bring it back? No. Is acceptance of it going to allow you to continue on with your life? Yes.
The problem with our society is that people have just become too lazy and sensitive. You have to watch what you say because you can easily offend someone. For example, telling someone that if they want to change their life, they need to stop complaining and do something about it. I don’t like to offend but it just seems so easy for me to do because like I said, I like to be honest because I care but people just can’t handle it.
I will open doors for people, give sincere compliments, assist someone in need and will allow someone to cut in front of me in line at the grocery store if they have less than what I have but when I try to help someone with some kind of harsh truth, it’s just rude and unacceptable. But why? Because most people can’t handle the truth. Yes, there is always a different way to approach the truth but that’s only good for talking to children.
Grown ass adults should accept truths in their most original form and that’s what I like to do. I don’t like to beat around the bush. Everyone deserves to know the truth. I admire anyone that can tell me how it is, not because they are doing it to hurt my feelings but to do it as a form of tough love. And to you, also, I tip my hat. Cheers!
Photo: The Stoics via The Philosophers’ Mail