“People are strange.” – Jim Morrison
I think of everyone as strange until I can understand them to a certain extent because a lot of times, people aren’t really who they say they are or appear to be at first, therefore, they’re a stranger. It’s only when you have observed them long enough to know whether they align with their true colors or not.
Since I love to people watch, I also love to read people. I guess you could say they are pretty much the same thing. However, when I people watch, it’s usually strangers that will always be strangers, whereas, when I read people, it’s focused on the people I will either keep around in my life or let go, back into strange land. I’m all about values and what is not valued is not worth having.
I feel it’s necessary to learn how to read the people you let in your life, so that you can understand and distinguish the difference between the ones who are of genuine value and benefit to you and the ones who are toxic and draining.
With all the people I’ve met in my past, I’ve come to understand that there are just some people who I’ve technically known for years but feel they will always be a stranger. It’s not the mysterious ones who keep to themselves a lot, as I respect those types a lot, but rather the ones you just never seem to vibe with consistently. You toggle back and forth with liking them and then not liking them over and over again. These types don’t serve a functional purpose in my life, and so I let them go when I know it’s time. In fact, recently I’ve let most of them go already. Bye.
When you have to question yourself and be suspicious about someone all the time and for an extended amount of time, even when you attempt to see the positive in them, it’s a waste of time.
I understand that people evolve and change over time, but why wait for it? You already gave yourself time to see what they are about. If they are meant to be in your life for another go around, they’ll come back when it’s not forced. In the meantime, save yourself some time, let them go and move on.
Everyone is entitled to a happy life. And yes, it’s a choice that is offered but people just don’t take advantage of it. They allow their emotions and attachments to get the best of them and end up settling for less than they deserve.
I learned this the hard way and I cried over it many times in the past. No shame though. I’m only human and didn’t understand. I was asleep. Now, I’m awake. And even though I consider myself to be a kind person, I don’t take any shit from anyone anymore. I allow myself enough time to read people and the ones that don’t resonate, get the boot. Sorry.
So how do you read people? Simple. You engage with them for a while and observe patterns. It’s fun and gets those neurons firing. I try to keep it as simple as possible with an open mind.
When you keep an open mind, you allow your intuition to do it’s job by preventing your ego from making the decisions for you. The ego likes to judge quickly and that’s why people get so offended easily without getting to the real truth. What you get offended about says a lot about your own personality. But if you keep an open mind, you allow yourself some time to view different perspectives, which you may end up liking and adopt yourself.
Daryl Dixon from The Walking Dead is my favorite example. In the beginning, he seemed like a real dangerous and cold hearted jerk. He wasn’t a very well liked character in the beginning because he was judged too quickly. But as his true personality started to reveal itself, he became the most liked character, and one of my favorites with Michonne being the other. All it takes is some time and observation.
If you can’t help but be suspicious all the time, there’s a good reason for that. If you can’t help but want to know more about someone, regardless of what they appear to be, there’s a reason for that as well. Your intuition never lies, so take the time to listen to it. Cheers!