It was lovely to visit for 1.75 days, and I’m sure I’ll visit again someday for a longer period of time, just not anytime soon.
So, I’m back in SoCal. I just arrived a few hours ago. The job I drove over 400 miles to check out fell through. I lasted 1 day.
Right before I decided to pack up and head up north, things didn’t feel right. I did not get any of the same feelings I got when I traveled to the Four Corners a few weeks ago. In fact, it almost seemed like everything about this trip felt like the complete opposite.
I wasn’t very excited about the drive to San Francisco for some reason. The drive was a lot shorter and I actually had time to prepare my things before leaving. But as soon as I start to leave, the first visual warning sign came up.
The “change oil” light came on and then the snowball effect happened. One problem after another. I almost ran out of gas, two different gas pumps I went to didn’t work, my tire hazard light came on, my brakes started to make noises, the rain and wind was ridiculous the entire trip, traffic was nasty and I stalled my Jeep for the first time in a long time. Resistance everywhere and I had none of these problems on the last trip.
It was a sign for me to turn back but I didn’t. I thought I was keeping an open mind but I was actually doing the opposite. I wanted to push through and not give up thinking they were obstacles that were necessary. I thought maybe the more obstacles there were, the better this job will be. But I realized today that these weren’t obstacles that lead to opportunities, they were warning signs that told me to stay away.
Well I arrived in San Francisco not too long after I posted my previous blog. I was feeling so beat down and drained from the drive up but I wanted to start this new job right away. Right off the bat, it started really awful, which none of it was my fault. I let it go and kept an open mind. No harm, no foul. Later on, more issues. I couldn’t believe it. I was so confused about what was happening. Did I battle through hell to get here for this? Yes, because I crave new places, new people, new adventures and even new lessons.
I gave this new job 3 chances before striking out and it struck out the same day. I just knew it was not right. It did not align with my self worth whatsoever; it tried to make me feel less of a person. After the last strike, I just knew that I needed to call it and head back home. And so I did. No resistance whatsoever on the drive home. In fact, I felt like the Universe was practically pushing me back.
I don’t regret the whole experience because it taught me how to distinguish the difference between an obstacle and a warning sign. Obstacles are great. They are what I call a parent who shows tough love. You may not see or appreciate the benefits you gain from them at first but later on you do. Warning signs are shit. They are what I call an abusive parent. Zero benefits are gained from them. You stay away from them or else.
So even though the job didn’t work out, and the drive to it was trash, I did get to experience San Francisco, somewhat. I didn’t get to see the Golden Gate Bridge but I did drive through the crazy streets, found some sweet hiking places and gained another awesome perspective in life.