I had another huge light bulb moment during meditation within the last hour. I started to understand the many roadblocks I’ve come across in my life for the past 6 months and what caused them.
But before I get into it, this post may resonate with some, especially if you’ve gone through a spiritual awakening. If you haven’t, it won’t make sense. It’s like trying to explain the concept of paying bills to a 3 year old.
If you haven’t experienced your spiritual awakening yet, you probably won’t understand or even care about it. If you still want to read and prepare yourself for when or if your awakening occurs, sweet! I will refer to the Universe as Divine because Divine will sounds better than Universe will.
As I drove back from San Francisco yesterday, I started to wonder more about the signs I noticed on the last two road trips I’ve made.
In my own experience, it was very hard to consciously understand signs of any kind before my awakening because I didn’t know any better and because I didn’t know, I didn’t pay attention to them. It’s like driving down the road and not noticing the fact that the broken yellow lines in the middle of the road almost look like one big solid line as you drive by them. They tell you something but you just don’t care to notice them. When I went through my awakening, I couldn’t help but notice subtle random things like that all the time. The amount of things I noticed confused me for quite some time. I had no idea why I paid so much attention to so many things I normally I wouldn’t even care about.
Based on my own experiences and what I’ve observed from them over the last 6 months, when we haven’t gone through the awakening process, we are making everyday decisions primarily based on our own free will. This causes us to overlook many things in life that would benefit us long term. The Divine, Universe, God or whatever you want to call it, cannot “intervene”and help because you are still “asleep” and closed off to it. However, it will still attempt to throw you signs in hopes that maybe you will catch them. It will be subtle and you may not catch much, if any, because you haven’t opened yourself up to be aware of them when they do come around. I was that person a year ago. I didn’t catch on to anything but when I look back now, the signs were practically being thrown in my face.
Once you go through the spiritual awakening process, you start to pick up on signs easier than those who are asleep, like a dog can pick up the frequencies of a dog whistle easier than a human. Life starts to shift and it will definitely be noticeable, especially if you’ve allowed your ego, instead of your intuition, to be the conductor of your free will. You’ll notice many things to become meaningless and you will become confused and depression may occur. This is because you’ve opened up to allow the Divine to intervene with your free will and take over in order to help you.
When this happens, you will no longer be the same person you used to be. Divine will causes things in your life to be rearranged in order for you to live at your full potential. It will come in to clean out your hoarded house of a life. You may not like it whatsoever but you still have the free will to observe and respond to this rearrangement.
Basically, when you allow the Divine to intervene, it acts like a parent by taking away the toys that your ego has allowed in your hoarded house of life that never served you or no longer serves you. This includes toxic relationships, friendships, jobs, addictions, living situations, etc. The more you resist letting them go, the more painful it is.
When you are “asleep”, you have the free will to make any and all decisions without the Divine will to intervene. You can manifest things that aren’t good for you if you really want them and you can still live your life as a hoarded house full of toxicity for the rest of your life, if you so please, because you have the free will to do so. But, obviously, it may not matter because you may not even notice how toxic your life really is or how toxic your manifestation may be. I didn’t notice how toxic my life really was or how toxic my manifestations really were until I finally woke up. That’s why there’s that saying, “Be careful what you wish for”… because you just might get it and regret it later.
For the last 6 months, since things started shifting for me after the total solar eclipse, I tried to hold onto my toxic hoarded house of a life and the manifestation power I had before. When I woke up, I resisted the many changes going on and wondered why I couldn’t manifest many things anymore. It was only because the Divine will now had the decision to choose what’s best for me and that includes what I wish to manifest.
Of course at first I thought this was bullshit but honestly, I’ve come to realize that the Divine knows better than I do. It made me dump the habit of wasting time on social media and adopt the habit of truly embracing the philosophies of Stoicism and Buddhism back into my life. It took away many of the big “toys” that needed to go, like the job I’ve dreaded for months, the long distance relationship that was hard to deal with, and the toxic friendships I’ve had for years. It also took away the apartment that was way too expensive and “fancy” which didn’t match with my personality because I’m all about the rustic and cozy, not modern and uncomfortable. And so because of this, I’ve now learned to allow my free will to chill out while the Divine will does its job.
Photo: My sister’s pitbull, Thor, chillin’ with my favorite pair of Oakley sunglasses.