A much different life than the one I’m currently living.
But before I explain, Happy “3.14” Day to everyone! Be sure to enjoy your favorite slice of “PI.E”, turn your “stressed” situations into “desserts” and make a toast to the life of Stephen Hawking.
So, 2018. What will this year bring me? Or rather, what will the rest of this year bring me?
As a continuing student of life, the Universe, Divine, whatever you want to call it, has brought me a lot of difficult challenges and lessons, especially last month. From now until the end of the year, I plan to put what I’ve learned from the difficult challenges and lessons into action.
I won’t explain what my specific goals are until the end of the year because I don’t believe in revealing goals to anyone; I only reveal them once I’ve achieved them. And I feel this way because from my experience, more things get done when there’s more action and less talk.
In my previous post, I advocated the concept of mastering your own mind with meditation, which I’ve been practicing more than usual lately and I’ve gotten pretty deep. To my surprise, it has done wonders within a short period of time. This morning’s meditation session allowed me to enter my own subconscious mind and find a massive problem I could not consciously figure out without meditation. It also provided me with the simple solution to solve it.
So what happened? My life a year ago popped up and I started to remember what I was experiencing and what my mindset was like.
A year ago, my life was “balanced”; I felt like I had it all. I had a lot of money, finances were on par, did some traveling, moved into a new fancy and spacious apartment, had a bunch of friends, started dating J from the special forces/demo parachute team who treated me really well, landed a lot of parachuting contracts and made a ton of money from them, easy. I felt like I was “winning” at life.
Right now, my life is “unbalanced”; it made a complete 180 from a year ago. I don’t have much money, nor the funds to do much traveling, dealt with a financial crisis, I sleep on my sister’s couch with no privacy, don’t talk to anyone but family, I don’t have a boyfriend, nor can I find a job I like. Sounds like I’ve allowed myself to succumb to “losing” at life, right? Not quite.
So, what happened within this past year?
A year ago, I was not consciously “awake”. The amount of noise going inside my head was pretty low. When I look back to how my mindset was, I was completely oblivious to pretty much everything in the external and internal world. I did not overanalyze or overthink much about life because I didn’t have that ability. Of course, I would wonder about certain things more than I should at times like a “normal” person but the amount of awareness I gained from anything was very minimal to non-existent. I focused primarily on everything outside of myself and at the time, it made me feel really good all the time, which attracted more good things into my life.
Once I met J, life completely changed as I started to “wake up”. Everything outside of myself that once made me feel really good all the time, became meaningless and confused me on so many levels, even J. Since then, the amount of awareness I’ve experienced since I met J has been very overwhelming. I started to learn the true meaning of everything instead of what it just appeared to be. It became so overwhelming that I couldn’t help but subconsciously overanalyze and overthink everything in existence, both internally and externally. And I only realized this recently through deep meditation because I was never able to pick it up consciously.
I understand that the external world is a reflection of our internal state of being. But lately, this thought has really blown up in my face during my recent deep meditation. I could never understand why I knew so much consciously but it never stuck subconsciously. I could write blog posts on what I knew but never held the advice in my own subconscious mind to manifest it in my external reality.
Then I realized why.
I allowed myself to succumb to the overwhelming amount of awareness I’ve experienced since I met J. My life crashed on the outside, only because I allowed it to. I didn’t know how to handle my new profound awareness of life, or Divine will, and didn’t think to use my own free will to pipe down the amount of noise being created because of the confusion. So my mind consistently became a noisy mess, especially because I wasn’t consistent with meditation.
As I allowed the unsupervised noise to continue partying it up in my conscious mind, it decided to move on over to the VIP section, my subconscious mind. And that’s what caused my life to fall off its rocker and manifest my current reality. There’s too much noise going on in there and that’s why I’m not able to manifest my own conscious ideas.
So because of my deep meditation or self-hypnosis, a simple solution to all this came up: Pipe down all the noise in my subconscious and keep all my incoming conscious awareness in check by meditating every day. That’s it.
I’ve recreated goals for myself this year, starting now. I want to see how many of these goals I can accomplish by the end of 2018. If I was able to cause my life to crash pretty hard from the overwhelmingly amount of noise and awareness instability, I really want to see what happens when all the noise gets shut down and awareness is put in order.
So as a reminder, I currently sleep on my sister’s couch, live out of my suitcase, don’t have a lot of money, don’t have funds to travel, have no friends, no boyfriend, and no job yet. However, I do have food, water, air, and shelter. I also now have a powerfully awakened mind. So let’s see what I can do with it in the external world this year, just by fine tuning it. Cheers!