For most of my life, I didn’t pay much attention to anything spiritual or religious. I considered myself to be agnostic for most of my life because I didn’t really know what to believe in and I didn’t want to close myself off to anything. I simply stayed neutral. That was until I purchased my first stone and crystal.
A little over 3 years ago, I experienced a painful breakup with someone I kept a very toxic relationship with for 3 years. At the time of the breakup, I didn’t realize it was a karmic relationship that needed to end the first time we broke up the first year we were together because like I said, I knew nothing about spirituality.
After we finally split the second and final time, I was pretty devastated because I was very co-dependent and clingy at the time. I didn’t know any better. I thought life was just crappy and because I continued to think that way, I started to see it in my external reality. When we split, I stopped working as a parachute rigger for a bit, moved away, got involved with the wrong people and I eventually became homeless in Los Angeles.
When I was homeless, I spent most of my time, outside of my job as a server, in libraries and bookstores. I’ve always felt a connection with books and the knowledge they contain, so those were the only places I felt comfortable in. I wanted to better myself so I started reading about the law of attraction and somehow it directed me to stones and crystals, so I focused on that only. I was desperate to change my life at the time, so I was willing to do whatever to get back on my feet, quickly.
Since I was working near the “ritzy” Kardashian area of Los Angeles, I looked for the nearest crystal store and I found one: The Native Spirit Lodge located in Woodland Hills. I went there looking for stones and crystals that would help me with my “shitty” life. The first two I bought, out of the many I currently own, are the two I still consider to be my talisman when they are together: Black tourmaline and selenite.
A man who worked at the store suggested the black tourmaline and selenite after a story I told him, about the wrong people I became involved with and why I was homeless in Los Angeles (which I haven’t shared in any of my blogs yet, but will soon). Once he mentioned to me how they are yin and yang, Boom! I immediately resonated. I was excited about them and wanted to see what kind of “luck” they would bring me.
Within a week of having them, life changed. At this time, I was not “awake” yet and not even close but I started walking on the path towards it. It was only when I met J, my twin flame, when the process towards awakening went into full force.
Anyways, within a week of the purchase, my Jeep was repo’d at 4am while I was inside, sleeping in my undies. I ended up surrendering it and was taken to the nearest motel by the repo guys. I couldn’t really afford to get a room so the hotel clerk let me stay in the lobby until I contacted family to pick me up. I called my sister who lives about 2-3 hours away and she came to pick me up.
After arriving back at her house, I was obviously a bit shaken up by the recent experience. I thought the new talisman pieces I had purchased brought me even more “bad luck” instead of “good luck”. But instead of throwing them away, I put them away because I had a feeling that throwing them away was not the answer. I decided to keep them but forgot about them.
It dampened my mood for a bit but then I realized I was no longer homeless. I felt relieved and it gave me the energy to get back on my feet by going back to packing parachutes since my sister lives near the drop zone I used to live and work at.
A couple of weeks later, I was able to retrieve my Jeep, and I also received a lot of offers to start working military parachuting contracts that paid a lot of money. I couldn’t believe how things started changing for the better and then I remembered the two talisman pieces I bought. And because I was not “awake” yet, I automatically assumed it was them that gave me the “luck” after all. So I kept them nearby me again and researched about the different crystals and stones and what kind of “magic” they contain. I went back to the same crystal store and bought the crystals and stones pertaining to what I wanted to receive in life, whether it was more money, a relationship, etc.
I actually started to see these little “miracles” happen in my life as I kept purchasing crystals and stones. It kept continuing right up until I met J, my twin flame. Then it all stopped. After meeting him, it’s like all the “miracles” that the crystals and stones brought me no longer manifested. I could not understand what was going on.
So what happened?
I thought the luck, magic and miracles I received were only from the crystals and stones but how wrong I was. The only way they had any power is when I gave it to them. They will only work their specific “magic” when your inner state of being is in a state of good intention. I was only able to use them correctly the first time because I put a lot of intention into them because I was still “asleep” and didn’t overthink any of it.
The moment I met J, I started to “awake”. And when that happens, your inner state of being starts to go through it’s cleansing period of the rotten values your ego started to collect over the years. This means all the fears and things you don’t like about yourself start to bubble up to the surface in order to “get the fuck out”. It causes you to overthink A LOT because you have no idea what’s going on, you’re pissed, annoyed, impatient and the feeling of it all is just really REALLY horrible. It’s called the “dark night of the soul”. Google it.
I tried to rely on the crystals to change the horrible funk I was experiencing because it worked its “magic” when I had my Jeep repo’d but nope nothing happened.
Things continued to get ugly because as I started to “awake”, seeking things outside of myself to making life better would no longer work whatsoever, nor would it help me during the cleansing process. I was left to deal with it all on my own. And the only way to make anything better, was to look within myself through meditation.
So now that I’m awake, the crystals work again. And because I understand how the crystals work, I can experience what they have to offer again. However, I don’t rely on them to make miracles happen; they are more like a booster. And even though they do contain a lot of “magic”, I only like to keep them as a reminder that the true magic of getting what you want in life starts within because…
“When you don’t go within, you go without.” -Yogi Bhajan
Photo: A few of the many stones and crystals I’ve collected. These are my favorite. If you want to know what each has to offer, just ask. 🙂
1st row (Top): Raw amethyst chunk
2nd row (LtoR): Selenite tower, citrine point, green aventurine tower
3rd row (LtoR): Clear quartz, red jasper pyramid, rose quartz
4th row (Bottom, LtoR): Selenite wand, tiger’s eye, raw black tourmaline, pyrite
5th row (LtoR): Amethyst heart, Lapis Lazuli heart, turquoise