I know I said that I was going to start going gung ho with the blog posts around mid April and that I was excited about it. Well, that never happened. And for that, I apologize to anyone who was looking forward to my parade of blog posts last month.
This spiritual awakening is kicking my ass again like it did last September-December. I thought the “dark night of the soul” phase was over but nope, it came back for round 2. However, this time, I feel it’s my twin flame’s phase because I already went through it, it doesn’t even feel like it belongs to me and it’s nothing like I experienced the first time, not even close. However, I have to experience it too since we pretty much consummated the connection the moment we met in person. Sounds coo-coo but I won’t deny, mock or roll my eyes about any of this like I would have a year ago.
The twin flame connection is a real thing but you will only know if you ever get to experience it. And you will know. It can feel like an inconvenience at times, just like the effects of planetary alignments, but I just roll with it and not give it more attention than it needs anymore. From my experience, diving too deep into these kinds of things can get too intense, waste time and make you go crazy. Stay close to the surface, and you’ll be fine.
This “dark night of the soul” phase is the most dark and challenging but the most beneficial spiritual awakening phase. It’s the phase when everything becomes very dull, boring and mediocre because the ego is shedding everything it’s very comfortable with but doesn’t belong. This happens so you can actually start understanding the true meaning of your existence and purpose in both the 3D and 5D. The feelings you experience are the same as the withdrawal symptoms of a breakup with a toxic ex you just don’t want to let go of but know you need to, except this breakup is with the toxic aspects of yourself.
During this phase, you also feel stuck because you no longer allow yourself to settle for less than you deserve. However, you also don’t know how to push forward because everything seems mediocre. So basically, the motivation to man the fuck up and power through is at a stand still. All you can do is allow it to happen and be patient because it’s “always darkest before dawn”.
So, am I depressed about having to deal with this dark energy again? No. Am I blaming my twin? No. Why? Because he’s evolving spiritually and that makes me happy, even if I never see or speak to him again. I do get annoyed when random dark emotions surface out of nowhere, especially when I’m feeling good, but I don’t try to run away from it because I understand why it happens.
Since I’m allowing this process to cycle through, I can’t hop on the “flow state” train. So when I’m not choo-chooing on this train, my ideas come out incomplete and I’m not about posting half ass blogs just to get likes and followers. I actually want to post meaningful content.
I’m not sure when I’ll start throwing up the “flow state” blogs again because I don’t know when this dark phase will be over. But in the meantime, I do have a few books to recommend if you are going through some heavy spiritual awakening phases, whether it’s your own or your twin’s. They include both practical (3D) and spiritual (5D) information to help stay grounded during the dark times because in order to evolve spiritually, you need to be practical too.
They help me a lot, and I hope they help you too! Cheers!
- The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday
This book explains how the obstacles in life are not barriers to hold you back, run away from and make you feel powerless but rather they are opportunities to help you gain mental strength, stand up to them and claim your power. It’s a practical book based on Stoicism.
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson
This book is about understanding values and what you should and shouldn’t give a fuck about. It’s a funny and no bullshit book on practicality.
- Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza
This book bridges the gap between practicality and spirituality using science. There is a ton of information on the functions of the human brain and how it acts as an antenna towards what we experience in our 3D reality. This book is overwhelmingly informative to those who are going through the spiritual awakening process because it actually answers a lot of questions.