I’m sure we’ve all experienced a time in our lives when life is on the up and up and then out of nowhere, something comes along to roundhouse kick us towards rock bottom. It’s as if our future felt real promising and then skewed right over towards feeling betrayed in some way.
This has happened to me several times in my life. Most of them were considered very minor blows, like the time I ended up becoming broke and homeless. I was able to dust myself off and bounce back quickly. However, this past year, not so much, even when I had more than enough money and my own fancy apartment.
My experiences of this past year is what I like to think of as the “falling down the rabbit hole” phase because it very much resembles all the weird illusionary madness Alice experiences in Alice in Wonderland when you allow yourself to follow the white rabbit.
Most people can identify with this phase after a recent breakup with someone, a job loss, the death of someone special, etc. because these unfortunate circumstances can really knock us off our feet, especially when we are doing so well on the up and up journey in life. And instead of dusting ourselves off and finding ways to bounce back to where we were, we end up following the white rabbit and drift off to white rabbit land of illusions.
We start to perceive things much differently, and most of the time it’s negative and toxic. We also start to forget a lot of the things that we value prior to whatever unfortunate circumstance was handed to us. We become confused about a lot of shit and feel destitute. And if we’re not careful, we can become victim to the circumstances instead of reclaiming our power because we are creatures of habit and what we habitually think, we become. So basically, if we don’t get our shit together and start playing our cards right, off with our heads!
For the last year, I had been following the white rabbit in the land of illusions and during this time I really did lose sight of what I truly value in life.
Other than my health, the basic necessities I need to survive, and what little family I have, the one thing I truly value but neglected the most is my Jeep, Ringo.
I bought Ringo back in 2011, brand new. He had less than 10 miles on the odometer when I bought him and now he has almost 100,000 miles. He has been there for me through thick and thin.
When I didn’t have a warm house to sleep in, Ringo became my home. When I wanted to drive cross country a few times, Ringo was there for me. When I had the urge to go off-roading to let off some steam and refuel my energy, Ringo was there for me. He never argued with me, never caused drama and always made me feel comfortable. Basically, Ringo is awesome!
When I was broke and he was repo’d, I was willing to do whatever I needed to do to get him back before he was auctioned off. I didn’t allow emotions to get the best of me nor did I rely on praying for his return. I took action. I went out there and made shit happen because I wanted him back, really bad. That meant accepting bloody hands from all the parachute packing I needed to do. And guess what? I got him back and I ended up paying off my loan in full a few months later because I never wanted it to happen again. I don’t remember doing anything like that for many things in my life, even people, as I’m usually ok with letting things go. I guess this proves how much I value and appreciate him.
However, during my white rabbit adventures of illusion (which I’ll blog about soon), I had forgotten what I did to get Ringo back because I had forgotten how much he meant to me. I started to lose sight of his true value and so I stopped cleaning him, keeping up with the maintenance and pretty much disregarded his worth. What a shitty thing for me to do, right? But even though I severely neglected him, he still showed me nothing but love. And so I’m in the process of returning the love, along with showing him how much I really value and appreciate him. Awww, right?
So moral of the story is: If you want to stay true to what you value the most in life, don’t follow the white rabbit. Cheers!
Photo: Ringo in the Sedona territory in February 2017, a month before I fell down the rabbit hole for a year.