My Biggest Fear Is Now My Biggest Goal

The other day I shared something I felt the most vulnerable about and I’m so glad I did!

It took me a few days in Sedona, Arizona to really absorb what was really going on. Thanks Sedona!

When I posted my biggest fear towards being a good parent, I just knew I was going to get criticized for what I wrote, but I felt it needed to be shared. I also knew that no matter how I worded the post, it was going to be portrayed the same way: bad parenting skills. But I still felt I needed to release that kind of negative energy that’s been held inside my internal pandora’s box for so long.

No one had to comment to be critical because I can feel the energy involved. I know there were many who wanted to voice their opinion but didn’t for various reasons. But it’s ok, I don’t mind opinions. I asked for them because I feel everyone is entitled to them and many times I learn from them, i.e. constructive criticism. However, when opinions start to pull in negative energy with destructive criticism, the conversation ends.

So the vulnerability I started to feel from sharing that post started to release the negative energy and bring in the positive energy. I had just posted a blog about affirmations, and I really wanted to see Kal. I went gung ho with the affirmation I made because I really wanted this to happen and boom, guess what? I was able to come up with the funds to go visit Kal for the summer! That’s what I call massive abundance. And not only am I going to visit her in Florida, but we are going to take a road trip up to NY to visit my sister and reconnect with her family, another vulnerability I had growing up. We’ll see what happens from there.

As of right now, I’m near Austin, Texas, in a hotel room. This makes me laugh because I got just what I wanted: deep appreciation. I lived in my Jeep for about 3 weeks and it gave me the experience that I asked for. It made me deeply appreciate many aspects of life more, like sleeping in a bed, and shitting in a toilet privately, which I did for the first time last night in 3 weeks. Yay!

When I was sitting on the toilet this morning in the hotel room, I thought, “Oh dang, this was just like Buddha! Sweet!” I had to deprive myself of many things by living in my Jeep to see clearly what issues/fears/vulnerabilities in my life that need to be addressed so I can regain the energy that belongs to me, learn how to harness my empath abilities and go out there and make magic happen. That’s basically what Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama) did.

I actually did sit under a Juniper tree several times in Sedona and let me tell you, when you are open to the good energy that is being offered to you, it will show. Sometimes, instantly and sometimes gradually. But every time you have to clear the negative energy in your aura to allow the positive energy to flow in. So whatever fears you have that need to be addressed will definitely come up and it will be uncomfortable. I did lots and lots of purging in Sedona, which is why that place is my first energy home. Again, thanks Sedona!

So now, I’m off to the gym to pick up heavy shit and put them back down several times and then move forth towards Florida to hang out with my happy, genetically induced ball of energy, Kal and strive to be an awesome parent. Cheers!

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