My Perspective on Depression and Suicide

What if we all just took a HUGE step back?

What if we all just stopped allowing ourselves to create negative emotions when we hear about someone who is depressed, has suicidal thoughts or has committed suicide?

Anytime I hear about someone who is depressed, has suicidal thoughts or has committed suicide, I don’t react, I respond. I don’t react by conjuring up ideas that this person is “sick”, needs “help” or question what’s “wrong” with them. To me, that is a very close minded type of reaction and it does nothing but perpetuate negativity and push them towards generating more energy they don’t need. I respond by wondering what they perceive that can’t be shown to anyone else that triggered negative emotions. And what I mean by this is like how we all dream/have nightmares but we cannot explain in full detail to others exactly what we “saw’ in our dreams. I want to know why people feel the way they do so I can learn and try to understand the best that I can, not judge.

For most of my life, I’ve felt quite content with life. In fact, I’ve considered myself to be the extrovert optimist. But the last 12-15 months have really caught me off guard because I finally woke up. The spiritual awakening process happened at an accelerated rate and it was harsh. I met my twin flame and he unknowingly cracked open my ego, which is the hardest challenge I’ve EVER had to face my entire life! It wasn’t my twin that I had to face, it was the destructiveness of my own ego I had to face and overcome. And let me tell you, I still go through it…but I’m learning to master the fuck out of it so I can help others master the fuck out of it as well.

I have experienced waves of heavy depression and suicidal thoughts many times throughout this 12-15 month period because of so much confusion and anxiety that randomly came up out of nowhere. The vivid life I had once experienced most of my life all of a sudden started to seem like it was fading to black. Many thoughts of “what’s wrong with me?!?!” and “why do I feel this way?!?!” came up but that’s just what happens when your consciousness throws out all the Candyland filters and moves towards the real deal of conscious evolution. It finally throws away the sugar coated bullshit your ego has been indulging in for years and grows the fuck up. I’m not ashamed of expressing my battles with depression and suicidal thoughts because all they really are, are just emotions. Very energetically heavy many times, but only when we allow ourselves to keep feeding them by not staying aware when they show up.

Emotions are energies in motion that sustain the life in our bodies, which makes us human; they can be healing or destructive. When you start to “wake up”, all the negative/destructive energy deep seated within you will also “wake up” your awareness to them. And that’s why we hear all about the celebrities going through these dark energies now as more and more people are “waking up” to face what’s been lingering inside their own ego.

A lot of awakenings are happening as more and more people are getting triggered into it, especially with the energies involved with social media. Unfortunately, many are not aware of what’s really going on and end up falling victim to it, as we hear about all over the news.

Depression and suicidal thoughts are very, VERY heavy in negative energy. We obviously know what they are capable of doing. Humans weren’t made to live life with this type of energy as the dominant energy. We are all meant to live with balanced energies: not too much positive, not too much negative energy but flowing like an EKG heart monitor. But because we live in a 3rd dimension world of survival, where negative energy is the dominant energy (mortality), it’s easier to get sucked into negative energy. We just have to learn how to understand energy more in order to keep on keepin’ on without falling victim to any of it.

As I’ve mentioned earlier, waves of depression and suicidal thoughts run through my head randomly from day to day not because I am depressed and suicidal, like I initially thought, but only to understand the energy they represent. And these waves get pretty intense around the full moon, which is tonight actually. It’s definitely not the easiest task in the world nor is it fun whatsoever but like I’ve said, it’s something I deeply feel I’m supposed to do during this lifetime: I’m meant to help and heal people by doing what I can to educate them. But in order to do these things, I have to experience and understand them myself, otherwise I really can’t help or heal anyone.

So if you are feeling depressed or suicidal, stay aware of the fact that they are just energies that have invaded your energy field at some point on a subconscious level to where you become aware of them consciously by all the illusions that they create. Once you become aware and not give and feed into these illusions, they will lose power.

I’m always willing to learn from people’s experiences as I gain energy from them, so if you want to share anything or need any kind of healing from me just contact me. Cheers!


8 thoughts on “My Perspective on Depression and Suicide

  • I loved this one Jen. I too have been through this on my own tf journey, yet not had a single suicidal thought before hand (surprising if you knew what I went through as a kid) but I used to be harsh on those who were depressed, I guess because I often found my way out of what happened to me without sinking into depression or suicidal thoughts. Yet I meet my twin and suddenly I’m whacked with it big time. So what you’re saying here makes so much sense, in a way that it’s a way for us to understand the energies. You worded it brilliantly as usual. Love your blog girl. Love you. XXX from one tf to another. Xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • The twin flame meeting was definitely an eye opener for sure. I’m really at that point on this journey where I’m getting better with understanding what kind of energy my ego has been indulging in and keeping locked up. Thinking about ever getting back into contact with Josh is a pretty sketch feeling to me now as it makes me wonder what kind of hellish energies I still have left to face that only he can bring up to my awareness. I think the separation at this point is best for now. Haha


  • You described this really well how spirituality is like an awakened genie in a bottle which first bangs onto it hard from the inside, but when taken serious and accommodated for it will at one stage leave the bottle of what is called maya- the illusion of the world.

    Energetically I can tell you why you are most susceptible by the full moon:
    The moon has a yin quality and therewith attracts yang – like it does through gravity by creating tides.
    Etymologically someone who became crazy at the time of the moon (Luna) was called a Luna-tic.

    Because women are linked through their blood-cycle and uterus with the moon strongly it affects them even more. The pericardium being a bag full of blood above the diaphragm which is in the realm of consciousness, and the uterus being one below in the realm of the subconscious.

    What currently contributes to the problem is that there is one part of feminism which mistakes equal respect with equality, and all what is fought for is the right to be as male as men. This not only weakens male energy but also pushes aside the huge realm of female qualities, such as grace, dignity, intuition, unconditional loving kindness etc..
    So pagan rituals are a good way to channel this overwhelming energy into celebrations (by for example reclaiming winter-solstice from what the church put on top of it and nowadays is shrivelled down to an empty and commercialised x-mess.)

    And as to the value of depression:
    I currently do a yoga exercise of which is said that it clears all garbage from the subconsciousness, and it does it with such a force that it did destroy my entire life.

    The yogi said: “The tragic in life is when subconscious stuff is released into the consciousness”. And this is how I do observe how many people who right now seem to have a certain upper hand suddenly seem to destroy their entire life.

    Playing a successful role is like clenching your fist to hold it all together, but at one point intellectual attributes such as willpower or discipline simply won’t cut it anymore and one just doesn’t have that adrenalin-strength any longer (which from nature is designed only to be used in emergency situations anyway).

    What our ego perceives as happiness is usually the process of expansion, so as long as ones career, beauty, etc. expand all seems good. Yet natural cycles do of course also contract. So our current dogma of constant economic growth is bind to fail as much as our suppression of our ageing process and consequent death.
    And whenever depression sets in I keep in mind that this is merely a passing state of contraction:

    Ex-press-ion —– Im-press-ion
    I I
    I I-dent-ification I
    I I
    Op-press ion —– De-press-ion

    What helps me tremendously is to view this life in cyclical terms, just as everything in nature cycles – like raindrops which become rivers, the sea, then clouds, and then raindrops again. So why should our life not also be cyclical ?
    Hence I am inclined to view it in terms of reincarnation, and if everything went down the drain, I see this life as one day of a larger life-cycle.

    So if things did not go the way I conceptualised it, it may simply be a “hangover-life” because I might have either overdone it previously, or refused to face issues which now impose themselves onto me.

    Hence even if I am totally down and out I keep going, because I at least want to clean up this mess properly within this life, so that I can enjoy a better one either next life or even better in my remaining years. And so it seems to me that once someone is content all the decades of suffering become totally irrelevant, because all that counts is the moment, i.e. now.

    I guess this is also what some spiritual directions say when they talk about leaving that suffering due to ignorance and worldly attachment behind.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes! Yes! Yes! Thank you for sharing this! This life is definitely just a raindrop in the infinite sea of lives we have yet to experience. And I do believe our life as a human really is to clean up the mess from our past lives in order to enjoy the future lives.

      Liked by 1 person

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