Why I Don’t Blog Much Anymore

It’s boring.

Just kidding.

There’s a lot I would like to blog about but after reading many of my posts from 2018 and especially my recent post, I’ve come to the conclusion that a lot of them were really meant to be private journal entries of my progress through my spiritual awakening, not something for me to share just yet. I won’t delete them though so you can still read them if you want.

When I look back at them, I notice how ahead of myself I was. It’s almost like I published rough drafts instead of final drafts thinking they were all final drafts. And the posts I’m referring to are mostly spiritual ones such as the twin flame journey. To me, that’s garbage now and I was completely wrong about the whole ideology behind it because I have no connection anymore whatsoever to the person I thought was my twin flame.

The blogs on the dark night of the soul and spiritual awakening still stands firmly for me. I will blog more about those soon. Also, anything that I published in regards to practical matters such as Stoicism also stands firmly for me and I would like to focus more on that in collaboration with the spiritual awakening process.

Why? Because being Stoic is about understanding emotions and how to control them under various circumstances and going through the spiritual awakening process is quite possibly the most difficult challenge a human can go through. It specifically targets your emotions and the perceptions that you gain from them, which is based on all the fears you never knew existed within you.

Anyone who says that an awakening is an easy and blissful process is throwing out a bunch of bullshit. It’s basically You vs. You or rather You vs. The Dark Side of You (the internal Pandora’s Box within you). I’ll explain that in another post.

So basically, I’m going to “try” to keep my personal life personal and revert back to keeping things simple. I’ll share what I come up with/learned by experience/meditation/aha moments but I’ll try to write it in a way that has a more nonpersonal flavor to it. Cheers!

The Important Shit We Forget

Memory is a funny thing.

I seem to remember a lot of the shit I don’t want to remember, yet always forget a lot of the shit I need to remember.

From mid December 2018 to the end of January 2019, I felt balanced and life was flowing.

I had just left Austin, Texas to road trip back to San Jose, California. I had meditated pretty much every day while I was in Austin from the end of November to mid December. Meditation pretty much gave me clarity on my next move, which was to road trip back to San Jose. I had no clue why, but I just followed what I had picked up on from meditation.

I drove back to San Jose and started working with Amazon Flex again. I also stayed at a hostel like AirBnB that was within my budget and that wasn’t too far away from my gym and work. But what was really cool about this place was meeting a lot of really cool people from all over. It almost felt like home.

Working for Amazon Flex went really awesome this time around because I was always able to pick up work, the deliveries were super fun and easy, the pay increased since the last time I was there and I was actually delivering to really beautiful neighborhoods. And then when I was done working, I would come back to the AirBnb and socialize with my housemates all night long.

It was all super fun and I was just super excited that I was able to make money, live somewhere cool, socialize with awesome people, go to the gym every day and just be busy all the time, which is something I love. I was also really happy to finally reconnect with a really good friend of mine who I became very close and intimate with since August of 2018 but had a falling out with right before Halloween. I blogged about him in Respecting Nature.

Things were just flowing really well and I was so busy with all these things that I had forgotten to meditate every morning and remind myself of the Stoic practice of premeditatio malorum and the Stoic principle of memento mori, as I’ve described in my blog Handling Bad Days.

I was so busy with everything going right in my life that I completely forgot to prepare myself for when everything may go wrong. And it did. All at once. And I was completely knocked on my ass, even though it was me who manifested it.

So what happened?

All within days of each other in the same week, during the full moon total lunar eclipse, the people I became very close with at the AirBnb started to depart, the work with Amazon started to dry up and become very complicated, I was asked to leave the AirBnb I was staying at because I was the only one who was caught drunk out of the housemates I was out partying with (which became a new rule of the AirBnb – zero tolerance for intoxication) and I had a really horrible falling out with my really good friend, once again. So basically, I was left with no friends, no work, no place to stay and a bad heartbreak within days of each other.

Everything just came crashing down and because I had forgotten to meditate every day and forgot to remind myself of the vital importance of premeditatio malorum and memento mori, I reacted instead of responded.

If I had just remembered to meditate every day when things were flowing so well, I would’ve been able to handle all the shit that was served to me that week like a boss. But instead I fell victim. I just made a lot of what I would consider unstoic-like decisions, which means making decisions based on negative emotions, instead of staying head strong. However, now remembering memento mori, it’s in the past and it is what it is.

As I think about the entire experience in San Jose, after hours of recent meditation, I’ve come to acknowledge that it was all a huge test that was handed to me not too long after I blogged about The True Benefit of Meditation. With that said, isn’t it funny how we forget to practice the very same principles that we preach, until it is handed to us in the form of a test? For that I cheers to the next test of adversities that may be handed to me, with the intentions that I remember all the important shit I preach about!

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Photo: Bell Rock in Sedona, Arizona this morning. Yep, I’m back here at the huge electric (upflow) rock once again to recharge and recenter myself. Works. Every. Time.

 

So What Did 2018 Bring Me?

A lot of challenges.

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged. In fact, I think my last blog on frequency illusion was posted in early December when I was in Morro Bay, California. I had just arrived from my road trip back to California from Austin, Texas.

I haven’t blogged since then because a lot has happened. Both positive and negative.

2018 was probably not the worst year I’ve ever experienced, it was just the most challenging because I paid very close attention to all the adversities I experienced as opposed to other years. It completely knock me off balance within and when you are not balanced within, you start to experience that imbalance in reality. No joke.

I did follow through with my 2018 New Year’s resolution. I never told anyone what it was because I firmly believe that words hold a lot of power. When you tell someone your intentions/goals/resolutions/whatever you want to call them instead of keeping them to yourself, they lose power. So basically, action really does speak louder than words.

So what was my 2018 New Year’s resolution? To travel more. I wasn’t specific about where, I just wanted to travel. And I did.

I traveled over 30,000 miles last year in my Jeep across the US and also up to Vancouver, BC for just one day. I’ve never traveled so much my entire life! I was very uncomfortable many times during my travels because I had other things going on in my life that were a bit on the rough side as I’ve blogged about. And I know it’s because I wasn’t specific about my intention and because there was no structure to it. But because I made the intention to travel and kept my mouth shut about it, that’s what was revealed to me throughout the entire year.

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Photo: Rice Desert Signpost. This was the first of many road trips I took in 2018. I was headed towards the Four Corners in February and this was my first stop along the way. Quite literally a huge sign telling me what I was going to experience the entire year, wouldn’t you say?

 

 

Frequency Illusion

I never knew what frequency illusion was until something came up in a conversation I had with my sister about a year ago.

I don’t exactly remember what the conversation was about but my sister had mentioned a phrase that I never heard before or possibly heard but never paid attention to – “the straw that broke the camel’s back”. I only remember acknowledging “the final straw” and “the last straw”. I didn’t think too much about it but I did think that phrase was interesting.

Not too long after I hear that phrase from her, I see this phrase in some random blog post and I also hear the phrase in a random Youtube video. I didn’t think to jot down the links to the blog post or Youtube as I was paying more attention to the phenomenon of what I was experiencing.

After seeing the Youtube video and reading the blog post, I googled about this phenomenon. I wanted to blog about it several times but just kept forgetting about it even though there were other times this frequency illusion would occur.

So what is frequency illusion? It’s also called the Baader-Meinhoff phenomenon, where you start noticing the frequency of something you either first learned about or recently took notice to. And it could be linked to how the name Austin occurred three times as I described in Hello Austin, Texas! or how I came across the nudist park in My Experience At A Nudist Resort.

Even though these two different events took place to remind me of this phenomenon, I still forgot about the phenomenon until recently when I was once again reminded.

What reminded me of blogging about this again was the word ayahuasca. I learned about it in Sedona from someone I met back in May before my US road trip. I had completely forgot about it, but then was randomly reminded of it recently when I was updated on a Youtube video about it, a conversation with someone about it came up, and then I received a reply to my comment on another Youtube video about ayahuasca that was posted a couple of weeks ago. Hmmm….maybe I should try ayahuasca….

Anyways from what I gathered, this frequency illusion may just be a way of showing people how manifestation and the law of attraction works without effort and if you are aware, you can pick up on a lot of cool shit you manifested. You think about something new and/or interesting but the moment you start to forget about it, it shows up multiple times randomly.

Have you become aware of any frequency illusions in your life, and if so, what happened?

 

The True Benefit of Meditation

There are many different kinds of legitimate articles and such that explain all the benefits of meditation. I’ve read so many and they all sound great and have been proven by science. However, the one thing I feel many of them lack is the ability to express the benefits in a way to where the reader can truly understand.

People will only pay close attention and be motivated by something they resonate and connect with. You can throw out a lot of information about the benefits of whatever along with some statistics, but no one will actually pay attention or be motivated unless you explain something to where they can truly connect and understand in a “aha” kind of way.

So with meditation, I feel that the one benefit everyone can relate with is the ability to take a step back as an observer.

What do I mean?

Let’s say you receive a phone call from a really good friend of yours. The moment you answer the phone, they are sobbing and going hysterical because they were just dumped. You aren’t sobbing and freaking out over them getting dumped, you just want to know what happened, find ways to console them and try to give some advice. This means you are actually in the position of being the observer of their situation. You are more clear headed than them, which allows you to see the solutions they may not be able to see because they are currently spending all of their energy wallowing in their own confusion of emotions.

Now instead of your friend, it is you that got dumped.

Instead of calling up a friend, you seek help from yourself. When you meditate consistently, you naturally have the ability to take a step back in the same way you did with your friend. You don’t have to try to take a step back, it becomes a natural habit in the same way you blink the moment something tries to invade your eyeball. You don’t start sobbing and freak out, you immediately become your own observer before you can acknowledge it. And when you become your own observer, you become aware of the solutions that are available to you so you don’t react like an asshole, and regret what you did later.

I have been meditating consistently for the last 11 days ranging from 2 minutes at a time to an hour. Surprisingly, I have noticed the difference in my response to my recent experience last night.

I was trying to look for an Air BnB room for the night but couldn’t find any available in the area I’m in. So I looked up hotels and though they weren’t cheap at all I really wanted to shower and sleep in a bed because I drove a lot and needed the rest. So instead of getting all worked up over not finding an Air BnB room or decent priced hotel, I just paid for a hotel room and that was that.

So I get my room and once I opened the door, I saw that the room did not have sheets and a blanket on the bed, as if housekeeping forgot to clean it. I go back to the lobby and get another room. It’s smaller but it is clean. However, I find out later that the shower doesn’t work and I can only take a bath. Then I get an email indicating that my credit card declined an automatic payment from my gym because I had forgotten to put more money on my credit card after reactivating my Hulu account. Doh!

Of course, at this point I would’ve been livid because I just drove all day, and was super tired and hungry but instead my brain function in a calm way and I just went with it. I didn’t go back to the lobby to complain, I just took a bath, paid my credit card, ate some food, chilled out and meditated before I went to sleep. This was awesome because I didn’t waste a lot of my energy getting livid and complaining about things that are out of my control. I was able to control the one thing I do have control of, which is the way I respond. And damn my response was on par and it felt really fucking good!

Even though I had only spent 11 days consistently meditating, the habit came back easily because I had started picking up the habit before. It’s almost like swimming, once you learn, you can’t unlearn or have to relearn all over again. You just pick the habit back up where you left off. The habit may be a little rusty at first but will smooth out pretty easily.

Once the habit is ingrained and you keep the momentum going, your response to just about anything will naturally be efficient without you trying. Therefore, you will only see everything from an observation point of view instead of getting lost in the ocean of emotions like your friend who just got dumped.

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Photo: A view of the Pacific Ocean from a vista point located in San Simeon, California

 

 

 

It’s That Time of Year!

Does anyone love National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation as much as I do? Probably. If not, why not???

Even though this movie came out in the late 80’s, it never gets old! It’s such a classic! I could watch it any time of year but it’s just traditional to watch it anytime in December. I actually haven’t watched this movie at all this year, but I feel tonight is the perfect night! I’m so stoked!

So, tonight is the new moon, the retrograde period of Mercury ends and I’m going glamping for the first time just to experience it because I’m curious. It’s also raining today. In fact, for the couple of weeks I’ve been here in Austin, today is the first time it’s rained.

Of course, it all seems just so cozy and perfect, but I do keep that Stoic premeditatio malorum in mind, just so I can stay balanced if things go less than planned.

So cheers to this movie and all the abs that will be worked on while I watch it.

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Photo: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation via IMDB