Why I Don’t Blog Much Anymore

It’s boring.

Just kidding.

There’s a lot I would like to blog about but after reading many of my posts from 2018 and especially my recent post, I’ve come to the conclusion that a lot of them were really meant to be private journal entries of my progress through my spiritual awakening, not something for me to share just yet. I won’t delete them though so you can still read them if you want.

When I look back at them, I notice how ahead of myself I was. It’s almost like I published rough drafts instead of final drafts thinking they were all final drafts. And the posts I’m referring to are mostly spiritual ones such as the twin flame journey. To me, that’s garbage now and I was completely wrong about the whole ideology behind it because I have no connection anymore whatsoever to the person I thought was my twin flame.

The blogs on the dark night of the soul and spiritual awakening still stands firmly for me. I will blog more about those soon. Also, anything that I published in regards to practical matters such as Stoicism also stands firmly for me and I would like to focus more on that in collaboration with the spiritual awakening process.

Why? Because being Stoic is about understanding emotions and how to control them under various circumstances and going through the spiritual awakening process is quite possibly the most difficult challenge a human can go through. It specifically targets your emotions and the perceptions that you gain from them, which is based on all the fears you never knew existed within you.

Anyone who says that an awakening is an easy and blissful process is throwing out a bunch of bullshit. It’s basically You vs. You or rather You vs. The Dark Side of You (the internal Pandora’s Box within you). I’ll explain that in another post.

So basically, I’m going to “try” to keep my personal life personal and revert back to keeping things simple. I’ll share what I come up with/learned by experience/meditation/aha moments but I’ll try to write it in a way that has a more nonpersonal flavor to it. Cheers!

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The Important Shit We Forget

Memory is a funny thing.

I seem to remember a lot of the shit I don’t want to remember, yet always forget a lot of the shit I need to remember.

From mid December 2018 to the end of January 2019, I felt balanced and life was flowing.

I had just left Austin, Texas to road trip back to San Jose, California. I had meditated pretty much every day while I was in Austin from the end of November to mid December. Meditation pretty much gave me clarity on my next move, which was to road trip back to San Jose. I had no clue why, but I just followed what I had picked up on from meditation.

I drove back to San Jose and started working with Amazon Flex again. I also stayed at a hostel like AirBnB that was within my budget and that wasn’t too far away from my gym and work. But what was really cool about this place was meeting a lot of really cool people from all over. It almost felt like home.

Working for Amazon Flex went really awesome this time around because I was always able to pick up work, the deliveries were super fun and easy, the pay increased since the last time I was there and I was actually delivering to really beautiful neighborhoods. And then when I was done working, I would come back to the AirBnb and socialize with my housemates all night long.

It was all super fun and I was just super excited that I was able to make money, live somewhere cool, socialize with awesome people, go to the gym every day and just be busy all the time, which is something I love. I was also really happy to finally reconnect with a really good friend of mine who I became very close and intimate with since August of 2018 but had a falling out with right before Halloween. I blogged about him in Respecting Nature.

Things were just flowing really well and I was so busy with all these things that I had forgotten to meditate every morning and remind myself of the Stoic practice of premeditatio malorum and the Stoic principle of memento mori, as I’ve described in my blog Handling Bad Days.

I was so busy with everything going right in my life that I completely forgot to prepare myself for when everything may go wrong. And it did. All at once. And I was completely knocked on my ass, even though it was me who manifested it.

So what happened?

All within days of each other in the same week, during the full moon total lunar eclipse, the people I became very close with at the AirBnb started to depart, the work with Amazon started to dry up and become very complicated, I was asked to leave the AirBnb I was staying at because I was the only one who was caught drunk out of the housemates I was out partying with (which became a new rule of the AirBnb – zero tolerance for intoxication) and I had a really horrible falling out with my really good friend, once again. So basically, I was left with no friends, no work, no place to stay and a bad heartbreak within days of each other.

Everything just came crashing down and because I had forgotten to meditate every day and forgot to remind myself of the vital importance of premeditatio malorum and memento mori, I reacted instead of responded.

If I had just remembered to meditate every day when things were flowing so well, I would’ve been able to handle all the shit that was served to me that week like a boss. But instead I fell victim. I just made a lot of what I would consider unstoic-like decisions, which means making decisions based on negative emotions, instead of staying head strong. However, now remembering memento mori, it’s in the past and it is what it is.

As I think about the entire experience in San Jose, after hours of recent meditation, I’ve come to acknowledge that it was all a huge test that was handed to me not too long after I blogged about The True Benefit of Meditation. With that said, isn’t it funny how we forget to practice the very same principles that we preach, until it is handed to us in the form of a test? For that I cheers to the next test of adversities that may be handed to me, with the intentions that I remember all the important shit I preach about!

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Photo: Bell Rock in Sedona, Arizona this morning. Yep, I’m back here at the huge electric (upflow) rock once again to recharge and recenter myself. Works. Every. Time.

 

So What Did 2018 Bring Me?

A lot of challenges.

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged. In fact, I think my last blog on frequency illusion was posted in early December when I was in Morro Bay, California. I had just arrived from my road trip back to California from Austin, Texas.

I haven’t blogged since then because a lot has happened. Both positive and negative.

2018 was probably not the worst year I’ve ever experienced, it was just the most challenging because I paid very close attention to all the adversities I experienced as opposed to other years. It completely knock me off balance within and when you are not balanced within, you start to experience that imbalance in reality. No joke.

I did follow through with my 2018 New Year’s resolution. I never told anyone what it was because I firmly believe that words hold a lot of power. When you tell someone your intentions/goals/resolutions/whatever you want to call them instead of keeping them to yourself, they lose power. So basically, action really does speak louder than words.

So what was my 2018 New Year’s resolution? To travel more. I wasn’t specific about where, I just wanted to travel. And I did.

I traveled over 30,000 miles last year in my Jeep across the US and also up to Vancouver, BC for just one day. I’ve never traveled so much my entire life! I was very uncomfortable many times during my travels because I had other things going on in my life that were a bit on the rough side as I’ve blogged about. And I know it’s because I wasn’t specific about my intention and because there was no structure to it. But because I made the intention to travel and kept my mouth shut about it, that’s what was revealed to me throughout the entire year.

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Photo: Rice Desert Signpost. This was the first of many road trips I took in 2018. I was headed towards the Four Corners in February and this was my first stop along the way. Quite literally a huge sign telling me what I was going to experience the entire year, wouldn’t you say?

 

 

My Experience At A Nudist Resort

I came across a few things lately that reminded me of my time as both a guest and a bartender at a nudist resort in Palm Springs, California several years ago. This place is nothing like most people think other than clothing is optional.

But first, as I was enjoying a Coffee IPA at the Texas Oasis Brewing Company on the patio overlooking Lake Travis, I look to my right. I was curious to see if there were any parks in that area where I could hike and venture around. I decided to check on google maps and found out that the park I spotted is called Hippie Hollow Park, which is a clothing optional park. I just laughed, thought about “visiting” but decided not to….it’s too cold outside! Lame excuse right?

Finding out about Hippie Hollow Park reminded me of the reason I came to visit Austin, I kept getting “signs” in threes. However, I’m not sure what to do about this one. Ha!

I had received an email from the resort not too long ago about the upcoming New Year’s Day bash and I just happened to stumble across a Facebook post recently in regards to someone that recently passed away, who was actually the general manager who interviewed and hired me at that resort. RIP Michael Williams.

So the place I bartended at is called Desert Sun Resort.

I worked there as a morning bartender for about 6 months and I have to say, it was an interesting place to work but I left because I ended up going to school full time and could only work in evenings. I applied for the job as a second job and just had a feeling I was going to get the job because I visited the resort as a guest several times to work on getting rid of my tan lines and to enjoy the mountain views in the pool areas. And well, I landed the job the same day.

Even though I visited the resort as a guest, I was fully clothed as a bartender. It’s a health code for obvious reasons and to be honest I would not want a nude bartender making my drink or delivering my food. There’s just something gross and strange about that.

I’ve met all sorts of people there from bartending and yes, I’ve seen it all! However, as the months went by, I became accustomed to the environment, so nothing came as a surprise to me anymore.

When I would visit as a guest, I wouldn’t pay attention to anyone besides the few people I came across in one of the many pool areas the resort has to offer. But when I was bartending, I couldn’t help but pay attention to everyone. But overall, it’s very chill and definitely not some kind of swinger resort. I actually interviewed at one of those places not knowing what I was getting myself into and it was a bit overwhelming for my taste so I declined the offer for the job.

Desert Sun Resort is actually a sophisticated resort, so pervs and such are not welcomed there. They take privacy very seriously and want you to feel comfortable. You have to go through a mini interview to gain access to the resort, which is nice. I highly recommend the resort and maybe one day I will go back to visit again as a guest.

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Photo: Hippie Hollow Park resides in this photo…somewhere 😉

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Photo: The Coffee IPA from Texas Oasis Brewing Company that I enjoyed as I tried searching for parks to hike at.

 

Hello Austin, Texas!

Yep, I’m here!

The decision to come here was based on some intuitive messages I received during my 9 day stay in Sedona, Arizona. And the decision was made on my birthday.

First, was from a blog I had read, in regards to Austin, that was published by fellow blogger, Mackenzie. Next, was meeting a bartender in Sedona, name Austin. And finally, I had watched the movie, Lone Survivor, in my Jeep the night before Thanksgiving. I was really intrigued by the “lone survivor” Marcus Luttrell, so I googled him and noticed the picture of him on Wikipedia was at a book festival in Austin.

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Happy Thanksgiving Day!

I know this holiday is being celebrated in the United States today, but I wish everyone from all around the world a Happy Thanksgiving Day!

To me, Thanksgiving Day is more than just stuffing your face with a whole bunch of festive Thanksgiving food, it’s actually taking the time to give thanks to everything and everyone you are thankful for with deep appreciation, even though this should be celebrated every day. However, it’s a well celebrated holiday here in the states, so let’s go with that.

So, what am I thankful for with deep appreciation?

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Camping in My Jeep and Some Intentions

Hey everyone!

I thought I would give you all a little tour of my Jeep, Ringo, and where I’ve been camping for the past week. I’m not very good with the vlogging stuff but, to be honest, I don’t want to. Ha! I’d like to stick with blogging.

So, I did leave California once again. I wanted to be practical and “responsible” a couple of months ago by going back to picking up the same job and the same shit I left a year ago, only to be reminded of why I left the first time.

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