I wrote about this over a year ago here.
When I first wrote it was at the very beginning stages of my awakening. After a year, I realized that these really difficult “tower” moments of collapse in life happen continuously when your newly formed foundation is faulty.
What do I mean by this?
To simplify, the dark night of the soul is when you come to a point (or points) in life where everything in existence seems “wrong”. From the people you’ve been friends with to your eating habits to the fabulous place you live at. You feel discontent for no reason, all of a sudden, and therefore what you feel is what you start to experience. Basically, the amygdala in your brain is lit!
They call this spiritual PTSD.
It’s a collapse of yourself in order to rebuild yourself to a better you, which can be very traumatizing, especially if it was induced by a traumatic event. This collapse keeps happening over and over until you learn how to understand why you feel the way you do. And the only way to stop the collapse or rather the perception of it is to sit with yourself by meditation, as that is the only way to cause the neurons in your brain to stop firing in the wrong direction.
The reason why everything seems to feel wrong is because your ego, or what I like to call you internal Pandora’s box, has opened up for exposure. Therefore, everything that you never knew you were fearful or insecure about is now open to your awareness and is magnified through external events in order for you to face them. No one can help you but you. And when it’s open for you to face, the neurons in your brain start firing in multiple directions. Pew, pew pew!!
Once you start to rebuild yourself and just when you think you have it all figure out, you will be severely tested various times to see just how you handle any kind of threat to your newly formed foundation, to see if your amygdala has calmed down and to see how well you’ve mastered the art of neuron firing in your brain. If you crumble, you start over again.
Threats come in the form of triggers. Anything that will trigger your amygdala and cause you to react instead of respond by staying neutral will cause you to crumble. And the only reason why this happens is because you are fully aware of everything that triggers you.
So in order to prevent the dark night of the soul from returning over and over again, you have to meditate like a boss! It will train your mind to stay neutral and form the habit of not identifying with what triggers you and at the same time start causing your neurons to fire in the right direction. When this happens you start feeling content and happy for no reason. Kind of like Peter Gibbons from Office Space the day after he was hypnotized.
Anyways, shit happens regardless of what you do because you don’t control outside circumstances, but if you can control your emotions that are caused by your awareness to shitty circumstances, you won’t be phased much. Therefore, your newly formed foundation won’t crumble and will continue to form structure.
But like anything worth attaining, it takes a lot of work, dedication and failure. Don’t forget that and don’t give up! Cheers!